Evening Falls
by hermione-of-vulcan
Summary: Janeway and Chakotay reunite post-Endgame. Title taken from an Enya song.


**A/N This is unbeta'ed, so any feedback is greatly appreciated. Standard disclaimers apply.**

* * *

Forever searching, never right  
I am lost in oceans of night  
Forever hoping I can find memories  
Those memories I left behind

Even though I leave  
Will I go on believing  
That this time is real  
Am I lost in this feeling?  
Like a child passing through  
Never knowing the reason  
I am home, I know the way  
I am home, feeling oh, so far away

-Enya, "Evening Falls"

* * *

Janeway collapsed on her bed and sighed deeply. Finally, a moment of rest between all the "Welcome Home" events.

Voyager was home. She should be happy - after all, she worked so hard to get home. There should be relief. She should be enjoying the reunions, the parties, the feeling of waking up in the morning and seeing sky out her window instead of the endless void of space. Yet somehow, she wasn't. Everyone felt distant and strange, as if the light-years between them hadn't been closed.

The only people she wanted to spend time with were Voyager's crew. Certainly, she'd attended many of the events with other senior officers, but she was always buried under a deluge of people wanting to talk to her, trying to get interviews, alternately criticizing and praising her command decisions, wanting her to tell stories…

She ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes.

The door chime went off.

"Come," she said automatically, even though the last thing she wanted to do was talk to anyone. The doors swished open and footsteps walked in. She didn't open her eyes.

"Kathryn?"

Her eyes flew open, and she sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "Chakotay!"

"Don't act so surprised. We're doing the joint interview tomorrow, remember?"

Janeway smiled, realizing how badly she'd missed him. "Right. What did they call it - 'A Strange Alliance'?"

"That was it," he said. "It's going to be hard to answer their questions. I don't really think of myself as Maquis anymore."

"I have trouble remembering it," Janeway said. "It seems so long ago." She laughed softly. "I chased your ship into the Badlands. We were supposed to be enemies!"

Chakotay smiled. "Seven years changes a lot."

She nodded. "Now you feel comfortable strolling into my hotel room."

"If I'm intruding - "

"No!" Janeway assured him. "It's good to see you."

He sat down next to her on the bed. "It's good to see you too."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. There were so many things they could say, but the silence allowed them time to gather their thoughts. Janeway was still surprised at how happy she was to see him.

Chakotay broke the silence. "I came over here to ask how you've been. I don't think we've talked much since we got home," Chakotay said.

"It's funny, Chakotay," she said. "I don't feel like I'm home. Everything feels so…distant. Foreign, almost."

He nodded. "Everyone feels that way, Kathryn. It's been a long time, and it won't be easy."

"I guess I just expected it to be," Janeway said. She shrugged. "At least now I only have to worry about admirals criticizing my command decisions. I'd like to see *them* do better stuck in the Delta Quadrant!"

Chakotay laughed gently, and they spent a pleasant few minutes discussing how the rest of the crew was doing. As they talked, Janeway relished the feeling of talking to a person who understood how she felt because he'd been through the same experiences.

After some time, Chakotay said "Should we practice for tomorrow?"

"What can we say? That being thrust into the same situation has a tendency to make friends out of enemies?"

The words "thrust into the same situation" brought old memories to the surface. Janeway's eyes widened. She hadn't expected to think about that again.

"Chakotay." Her voice was softer. "Do you remember New Earth?"

"Yes."

"Why did you bring it up?" Chakotay asked.

Words lingered in the air, unspoken. Honestly, she wasn't sure. Somehow, her brain had associated that situation with now. What did they have in common?

"It's a good example of how being in the same situation breaks down barriers between people," she said.

They had gone from being enemies to friends. Now he was the person she felt the most comfortable with, the one who truly understood her. On New Earth that intimacy had been able to flourish without barriers. Without barriers…

She could see in his eyes that he was thinking the same things.

"None of those barriers are here now," she said. She placed her hand on top of his. Her heart beat quickly in anticipation. He looked down at their hands, and then met her eyes. "No, they're not," he said.

Their lips met, hesitantly at first, but soon the kiss deepened to encompass all of the feelings repressed for years in the Delta Quadrant, everything that never happened, everything they'd wanted.

If coming back home allowed these barriers to be broken, Janeway was very glad to be home.


End file.
